insomnia?

I can't sleep, my mind is bringing up flashbacks & thinkning of the future & shit. Whay has been, what is, what will be and what i want shit to be like....I barely got anysleep this week...I lay in bed everynight trying to go to sleep but it doesnt work. And when I do go to sleep I have some crazy ass dreams. Random ppl, but today I realzied that these ppl are in my dreams for a reason.... Bout to go read a book...

[mocha]pocahantas

" I'm so serious my chest hurts"

it all started with checking my emails. I was cleaning out my inbox and I came across an old conversation. Well three to be approxiamte. And then I though back. Of how carefree and genuine our conversations used to be.


Then came the shortness of breath...
increase in pulse....
tightening of the chest......
It was heartache.

What bothers me the most is, how can you have heartache for someone you don't even talk to, don't even trust, don't even know, don't even love ?

I kno there is one simple answer tied to these complex emotions, but it can't be happneing to me... Na not me

random....

I love kelsie Bonaparte she really has impacted my life like od I really love her

Mad random

Today I was at grand central & I was by the 7 train. The first and last time I took that shit was when I was in 9th grade and me her miguel and Anthony were going to a baseball game. After that I just started thinkning bout all the times we hung out...wall st..14st lol...135? I think and man o man we had some real good times together..... Q train anyone?na better yet the 5,or 3, shit even the lirr ....lol chill daddy.... :-p

Enna iort pocahantas

Cry

My lil cuzzo sed in a poem what resides in my heart, has flowed out of my eyes, in the form of tears & now that they've dried I see shit clear

that shit was deep and sometimes its true, only crying can make things better sometimes. But I hate to cry. Hate it hate it HATE IT. Seems like with tears there is only more drama to come. Which leads me to the point of this here blog.... The song Cry by Rihanna.i feel like I can relate to that song 110%

" was it the moment that we first kissed/ becuase its killing me to let it go/
maybe becuase we spent so much time/ and now were no more/
I shoulda never let you hold baby/ maybe that's why I'm sad to see us apart/
I didnt give it to you on purpose/ can't figure out how you got in my heart"

[ I altered the words a bit to fit my current situation]
Basically the song goes on to talk about yea she got her heart broken, but she's not gunna let it get to her. & that's why I love the song becuase I wish I could have done that in the past.... Just let love go & call it a day... And I'm going to try to keep up that attitude but I can't even front... Ima certified SUCKER for love.... smh.... But that song, the message it portrays & kinda relfects my attitude: be emotionless or show subtle emotions... I'm gunna research who wrote that song, that shit is deep, it blows mine that all the shit by rihanna that I od love ain't written by her [ ie rehab,unfaithful, breaking dishes & a few more] and she stole her whole swag from kelis but that's life lol

Young bliss babe

" my mind is gone/ I'm spinning round/ and deep inside these tears I'll drown/
I'm losing grip/ what's happening? / I stray from love / this is how I feel"